Episode 16.6: ‘Sex, Lies, and No Escape!’

After avoiding Eliza and her claims of carrying his unborn twins, Reg is coming round to the idea. Although she is naturally a Liberal and Reg a raving Tory (and loving boyfriend of Pablo Jones), they decide they can make a pragmatic child-rearing coalition.

Meanwhile, Big Dick Johnson has said yes to Gina’s proposal of marriage! He is over the moon, on Cloud 9, on top of the world! Candi is carried away by the romance of the moment and sleeps with Simpkins (yes, really!), who afterwards tells her he always fancied her mother, Judith, and blames Dick for her death (she crashed her car while strung out on the antihistamines he gave her). Simpkins also tells her that Gina has been having an affair with Fred. Blown away by all this information, Candi goes to visit her friend Pablo.

Gina goes to see Fred and the tension is palpable. Fred realises he has to go far away where temptation cannot reach him. He gives Eliza and Reg his café and radio show, he gives Simpkins his shares in Chessington World of Adventures in return for his silence over the affair, and he heads to the airport bus. But he is waylaid by Dick, who insists he comes back to the pub with him to celebrate the engagement. Meanwhile, Pablo is visited by Candi and cannot hide the fact he knew about Gina’s affair already. Candi is torn about hurting her uncle and when they get to the pub and the engagement party insists that Pablo tells him – Pablo cannot bring himself to do so. In truly soaptastic style; Gina is a bundle of nerves, Fred is very uncomfortable, Candi is in a high state of anxiety, Big Dick is blissfully happy and unaware and then Pablo finally gets up the courage and blurts out that Gina had an affair with Fred!

Memorable Moments:

  • That incredible soaptastic final scene in the pub…TENSE!!!
  • Big Dick wearing a colourful woollen jumper, deciding that the leather jacket is the old him and now he is going to be a nice, entirely new man
  • Reg’s enthusiasm for naming the twins after famous dead Tories

Will everything remain hunky-tory for Eliza and Reg and their new parenting coalition?

Will Fred really leave Newtown and all his belongings and wealth behind him? Will Gina have a heart attack??

And what on Earth is Big Dick Johnson going to do now???

Episode 16.5: ‘Treehouse of Horror’

This was 2018’s sell-out Halloween Special and what a show it was! Big Dick Johnson and Fred Gonzalez are up in Dick’s treehouse on Halloween, telling stories. They pull titles written down by the audience from a hat…

Ghost Ship

AJ Shaw was harvesting the souls of the people of Newtown by sucking them into the ship-in-the-bottles he has in his toy emporium. Thankfully Candi and Pablo are on the case and determined to find out what is happening to everyone, they bring in the Reverend Adrian who brings the ghosts out of the ships and goes head to head with AJ – who is really Satan!


Back in ye olde days, Simpkins is making new monstruous people out of the innocent and pure of heart. What a cad!

Edgar Allen Pablo’s Tell-Tale Heart

Pablo suddenly finds that his innermost thoughts are heard by the people he meets – he says good morning to them and they hear him calling them an ugly old tart, for example! Soon all the people of Newtown are baying for his blood and he takes refuge in the church. Reverend Adrian is on hand to make things better, Pablo’s innermost thoughts turn kinky and the Rev responds in kind!

The Ghouls Under Simpkins’ Bed

As the title suggests, there were a lot of ghouls under Simpkins’ bed, they come out and kill him. It was a short one!

Halloween Ain’t Just For Teens!

A teenaged Simpkins and AJ get booze from an older woman, Constance Sugar, to go along to a party. She says she will join them, the old lech. Cut forward to when they are adults, and they are in a group at a graveside, remembering what happened all those years ago. It turns out Constance died at that party and she is back, undead, for vengeance! She picks off the group of once-teens from that party one by one, killing them in horrible ways. Until Candi and Simpkins find the words to say backwards and vanquish her forever!

Big Dick and Fred have enjoyed the storytelling, all seems well…But then an unearthly visitation comes to them – it is a zombie Reverend Adrian, and he wants their blood!

No-one gets out of the Treehouse of Horror alive.


Episode 15.9: ‘Big Pants, Magic Dance and Some Illicit Romance’

AJ Shaw desperately tries to figure out how his huge pants came to be in Big Dick Johnson’s girlfriend’s bed. He comes up with all sorts of theories, luckily eventually dissuading Big Dick from torturing or maiming him – Big Dick has realised that AJ may have an enemy who wishes him harm and who planted those pants.

The pants-planter, SImpkins, is having a lovely time by himself at his hotel. His peace is interrupted by a whittering AJ, wondering who could possibly want to do such a bad thing to him, and after a full seven hours of AJ’s company Simpkins breaks and tells him that it was he who had planted those pants and hoped for a violent outcome!

Elsewhere in Newtown, Gina is feeling guilty about doing the dirty with Fred behind Big Dick’s back, but just cannot seem to stop herself. She and Fred try to have proper conversations to get to know one another – but lust takes over and her pub is left shut while she gets it on with Fred.

On the other side of the world, Pablo is trying to find his zen when he is completely surprised by Candi showing up. She chose Thailand and that exact beach in Thailand completely by coincidence. They are overjoyed to see each other and go drinking mojitos by the bucket and taking magic mushrooms at a full moon party. They both have their sordid assignations, but Pablo realises he would love to see a more familiar, friendly face, someone he could truly fall in love with…

Meanwhile, back in Newtown, Eliza and Reg wait for a bus…and wait…and wait. The bus does not arrive but during the wait Eliza does bare her soul (and her sadness over girlfriend Candi just taking off without a word) to Reg, who believes that she should have  a proper think about things, and that there is no better place to think than, say, Thailand.

In a dramatic final scene, Pablo spots Reg, that familiar face he was yearning for. Soon Candi appears again, as does Eliza – Candi cannot believe her eyes!

Memorable Moments:

  • AJ’s huge pants, his ‘whiddle carriers’ – a big bit of white material does a good job making the most disturbing pair of pants ever seen
  • Simpkins watching ’80s television, loving Dangermouse and singing the them to ‘SimpkinsMouse’
  • Reg’s philosophy about late buses and life in general

What will Candi think of Eliza showing up right there, in front of her face?!

Has Reg felt the Cupid’s arrow as Pablo did??

How will AJ cope with finding out that Simpkins detests him and set him up???

Find out in Episode 15.10 at 8pm at The Wardrobe Theatre, followed by OUR IMPROVISED RADIO SOAP SHOW at 9.30pm.


Live improvised RADIO version of Closer Each Day!!!

After the normal episodes on Mondays 4th and 18th June, if you see the shows you can stick around and watch (and listen!) for free – but you are also welcome to come at 9.15pm just for the radio show. Drop us a line if you would like to do that.

Alec Reid, a director of radio soap The Archers and a fan of our show, wanted to see if we could do what we do but for radio. We have been having a go in rehearsals and we are LOVING it! Of course we cannot rely on visual gags, but there are a lot of things you can do on radio that you cannot do on stage and we are having great fun exploring the audio world of our soap.

Do come and join us, we would love your support (and your laughter!) as we record the radio show live at The Wardrobe Theatre.

Episode 15.8: ‘Sofa, So Good’

Bunny is still languishing in jail, for AJ’s crime. Simpkins feels responsible for employee and protegee Bunny and wants to find a way to make AJ pay.

Big Dick Johnson and Fred Gonzalez are shopping separately at DFS when they bump into Candi Johnson, who is trying to buy laminate flooring to surprise Eliza. When Eliza follows Candi into DFS Candi is angry because she feels she is not being given space to do nice things and the laminate flooring surprise is ruined. The intensity of their relationship comes to a head and Candi tells Eliza it is over. Later, ELiza is desparate to go and win Candi back but Gina gives a firm talking to to her about the Johnson’s feelings about things like witchcraft (that it is all bullshit) and encourages her to accept Candi does not want her any more.

Gina has been having illicit sex with Fred, while her boyfriend Big Dick has been chatting with AJ at the bus stop. Simpkins has got hold of some of AJ’s huge white Y fronts with his name written on them and has planted them under Gina’s pillow. When Big Dick later tries to be a good boyfriend and tidy the bedroom up for Gina and make a love nest for them in the bed he discovers the pants! AJ is on the verge of going to confess to his crime when he is accosted by a furious Big Dick with murder in his eye!


  • Candi, while wanting advice about how to treat women from Big Dick and Fred, gets the two of them to demostrate a romantic kiss to her. Steamy!
  • Eliza being made to drink a massive Archers by Gina to feel better
  • The joy of trying out sofas at DFS

How will AJ manage to explain away his big pants??

Will they find out it was Simpkins’ doing?

Is it really over for Eliza and Candi?

Will Gina and Fred keep at it???

Find out in Episode 15.9 on 4th June 2018 at 8pm at The Wardrobe Theatre

May Mayhem: Closer Each Day Takes Over Brunel’s SS Great Britain

We are ready to rock the boat! Following on from our sell-out success aboard Brunel’s SS Great Britain last May, this year we are back with not one but TWO nights of fully improvised and hilarious comedy.

Sunday 20th May: Think games and audience interaction as in Whose Line Is It Anyway? plus a live-action story made up entirely in the moment from audience suggestions. Hold on to your hats, hold on to your ribs, this will be a riot in the very best way.

Monday 21st May: A one-off standalone show seeing the characters of Closer Each Day’s fictional Newtown back in time and just as funny as ever. This was a rip-roaring success last year, with die-hard fans and those who had never seen the show alike.

Hilarious, inventive and entirely unique, come and see a landmark Bristol show on a Bristol landmark!

Arrive before the show starts to look around the ship and museum, included in your ticket price. There will also be a bar on-board serving wine, beer and cider. Do not miss these two marvellous May nights!

Tickets here.