We cannot wait to be back onstage!

It is just a waiting game right now. Perhaps we shall be back onstage at the Wardrobe in May (hopefully) or June. We may be able to do an outdoor show in April. It is all ifs and buts right now, all depending on this absolute %*&@ of a virus. But one thing you can be sure of, when we are back in action again it is going to be BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!


We were hoping to be back on the 21st  but having the go ahead just a few days before made the logistics impossible. But let us not dwell on what we cannot do or have not done, and instead party like it is the New Year before Covid was invented and have ourselves a special episode of Closer Each Day: The Improvised Soap Opera. HOORAY!!!

Come along to the Wardrobe Theatre for the show at 7.30pm. The Wardrobe have done a smashing job with making the theatre experience as safe as possible. The tickets are sold in bubble pairs and you have no-one sitting behind or in front of you, everyone in the audience must wear a mask (unless exempt) and the cast are socially distanced both from the audience and each other. You can come and enjoy in secure fashion.

And what a party it will be in Newtown! We have never had a show on this date before and are really looking forward to it.

Get your tickets here.

If you want discounted tickets, first join our Neighbourhood Watch if you have not done so already.

Come and enjoy a fantastic, hilarious standalone show which also happens to be the finale of our shortest season ever!

Episode 20.1: ‘Modern Art is Shit’

Gina Pitts has got a new pub, but no money to stock it. Constance Sugar gives her £10,000, in return she wants a big portrait of herself up on the wall of the pub. Gina gets Candi Johnson to work on it, but although she has the enthusiasm she does not have the skills – it is an unflattering mess and Constance takes back her money. Meanwhile, Candi’s uncle and Gina’s fiance, Big Dick Johnson, has already ordered £10,000 worth of stock for the pub, from a dodgy dealer who will get violent if they don’t pay up. Gina is stressed but still does not want to hurt Candi’s feelings and tell her the art did not go down well. When Candi does find out Big Dick encourages her to go to art school and get some training.

Over at Simpkins’ hotel, Simpkins is trying to convince Constance he really does want to treat her, because he loves her, and not just because he is trying to get her to forget about nearly losing all his money to Eliza when he was mooning over her (Eliza is now in jail). Simpkins thinks having Gina over to live with them will cheer Constance up and also asks Big Dick to cook a special meal for them. Constance hears about this and gets Big Dick to add a bit of salmonella to Simpkins’ plate. When they are sat down for the meal, Simpkins sees his plate looks better and swaps it with Constance’s while her back is turned. Constance has an instant reaction and her bottom turns itself inside out, captured on camera by Gina. In return for not sharing those photos with anyone, Constance gives back the £10,000. Candi does not know about the deal and has been accepted on to Grayson Perry’s TV art show, with the photo of Constance in extremis.


We are so so so so (ad infinitum) happy to announce we are back live on stage at the Wardrobe Theatre from Monday 2nd November 2020 at 7.30pm. Yes, we know things may change and lockdowns may happen, but if they do we and the theatre have everything in place and Covid 19 safe for getting back to it as soon as we are able to again.

We have missed performing our fortnightly soap and cannot wait to kick off a brand new season. Come along and have a laugh and remember why, no matter what, live theatre is a vital part of life as we know it!

Get your tickets here. Tickets are sold in pairs – the theatre will be at half capacity and this is the best and safest way of doing things.

We are back, and about bloody time too!