Episode 15.11: ‘Maggie Thatcher Strikes Back’

In Newtown, Gina is trying to stay away from Fred and their steamy affair and is having a night in with boyfriend Big Dick watching box sets. Big Dick always needs plenty of sweets for a night in watching the telly, so makes trips out to the local shops to stock up.

Meanwhile, AJ and Simpkins learn that sweets are being stolen from their favourite shops and set out to catch the perpetrator. They get more than they bargained for when they bump into Big Dick, who covers up his own sweet-lifting crimes by making the amateur sleuths suspect each other!

Over in Thailand, new loves Reg and Pablo and ex-loves Candi and Eliza are getting a flight back home. Along the way, Reg lets a random stranger pack for him and Pablo is surprised to learn that Reg is a closet Tory and an ardent fan of Maggie Thatcher – in fact Reg gifts Pablo his very own Maggie Thatcher doll. Later on that doll becomes even more terrifying when, during an emergency landing in Dubai, the police discover drugs inside it! Poor Pablo, the tough drug laws means that he faces death!

In another shock, Eliza reveals to Candi that she thinks she is pregnant – and the father is Reg!

Memorable Moments:

  • AJ and Simpkins’ double act as investiagtors, especially when they did a whole scene talking one word at a time between the two of them!
  • Gina sitting alone in her love seat at home, watching TV and singing along to theme tunes
  • The Maggie Thatcher doll’s voice and recorded sentences, chilling!

Will Gina manage to settle for cosy nights in with Big Dick, or does she want more Fred?

Will Eliza tell Reg he is going to be a daddy, and how will he take it?

Can anyone get Pablo out of the Dubai prison or is he doomed to death?!

Find out in the First Episode of Season 16 at 8pm on Monday 3rd September 2018 at the Wardrobe Theatre.

Episode 15.10: ‘Thai Lies, Footballers’ Thighs, A Virgin’s Sighs’

AJ is reeling from Simpkins telling him that he is selfish and that everyone in Newtown thinks so, but he still cannot quite get past the ‘Me, me, it’s all about me’ attitude and when he decides to go and get police training, it may not be from the most virtuous of motives.

Fred and Big Dick are caught up in the World Cup spirit, but they also have time to talk about electricity and quantum physics too (Big Dick still completely ignorant about Fred sleeping with his girlfriend Gina). Meanwhile, Gina wants to get out of the pub and go for a walk – she gets Simpkins to take care of the bar while she does so and he gets throughly drunk and does a Gina impression so well that everyone coming into the pub thinks that he is in fact Gina Pitts! He is so drunk that he eventually passes out and only a coffee enema and some mouth to mouth from AJ brings him back to life.

Over in Thailand, Candi wants Eliza to leave her alone and so leaps on Pablo to pretend they are an item. Eliza decides later that she too has to show she doesn’t care and persuades Reg to pretend he is her lover. The four of them meet again on the beach and are so determined to prove their lie they have full penetrative sex with their respective fake partners. Candi did not realise Pablo was a virgin before and feels bad, he realises that he definitely is not interested in women and wants Reg badly. Candi convinces him that he needs to tell him! Later, at Candi and Pablo’s hotel, both couples come clean about their charade and Pablo and Reg take each others’ hands…

Memorable Moments:

  • The scene on Newtown’s village green (and a split screen with Thailand), with everyone watching the England v Tunisia match on the big screen but talking about their various issues
  • Pablo making Candi lay down on her ‘bunk bed’, a chair that she has to lay flat across very uncomfortably
  • Eliza’s reappearance on the beach in a sizzling red and white checked swimsuit, red tights, red sunglasses and a big floppy hat – pure glamour
  • Gina and Simpkins’ impressions of one another – nailed it!

Will Eliza and Candi talk things out?

Will Reg and Pablo’s romance survive beyond Thailand?

Will AJ actually go on the police training, and will he find a more selfless way to be or just get worse??

Will Fred and Gina keep getting away with it??

Find out in our SEASON FINALE, Episode 15.11, on Monday 2nd July 2018 at 8pm at The Wardrobe Theatre. Followed by a Q&A session with Closer Each Day Company, hosted by Backline Improv.


Episode 15.9: ‘Big Pants, Magic Dance and Some Illicit Romance’

AJ Shaw desperately tries to figure out how his huge pants came to be in Big Dick Johnson’s girlfriend’s bed. He comes up with all sorts of theories, luckily eventually dissuading Big Dick from torturing or maiming him – Big Dick has realised that AJ may have an enemy who wishes him harm and who planted those pants.

The pants-planter, SImpkins, is having a lovely time by himself at his hotel. His peace is interrupted by a whittering AJ, wondering who could possibly want to do such a bad thing to him, and after a full seven hours of AJ’s company Simpkins breaks and tells him that it was he who had planted those pants and hoped for a violent outcome!

Elsewhere in Newtown, Gina is feeling guilty about doing the dirty with Fred behind Big Dick’s back, but just cannot seem to stop herself. She and Fred try to have proper conversations to get to know one another – but lust takes over and her pub is left shut while she gets it on with Fred.

On the other side of the world, Pablo is trying to find his zen when he is completely surprised by Candi showing up. She chose Thailand and that exact beach in Thailand completely by coincidence. They are overjoyed to see each other and go drinking mojitos by the bucket and taking magic mushrooms at a full moon party. They both have their sordid assignations, but Pablo realises he would love to see a more familiar, friendly face, someone he could truly fall in love with…

Meanwhile, back in Newtown, Eliza and Reg wait for a bus…and wait…and wait. The bus does not arrive but during the wait Eliza does bare her soul (and her sadness over girlfriend Candi just taking off without a word) to Reg, who believes that she should have  a proper think about things, and that there is no better place to think than, say, Thailand.

In a dramatic final scene, Pablo spots Reg, that familiar face he was yearning for. Soon Candi appears again, as does Eliza – Candi cannot believe her eyes!

Memorable Moments:

  • AJ’s huge pants, his ‘whiddle carriers’ – a big bit of white material does a good job making the most disturbing pair of pants ever seen
  • Simpkins watching ’80s television, loving Dangermouse and singing the them to ‘SimpkinsMouse’
  • Reg’s philosophy about late buses and life in general

What will Candi think of Eliza showing up right there, in front of her face?!

Has Reg felt the Cupid’s arrow as Pablo did??

How will AJ cope with finding out that Simpkins detests him and set him up???

Find out in Episode 15.10 at 8pm at The Wardrobe Theatre, followed by OUR IMPROVISED RADIO SOAP SHOW at 9.30pm.


Episode 15.8: ‘Sofa, So Good’

Bunny is still languishing in jail, for AJ’s crime. Simpkins feels responsible for employee and protegee Bunny and wants to find a way to make AJ pay.

Big Dick Johnson and Fred Gonzalez are shopping separately at DFS when they bump into Candi Johnson, who is trying to buy laminate flooring to surprise Eliza. When Eliza follows Candi into DFS Candi is angry because she feels she is not being given space to do nice things and the laminate flooring surprise is ruined. The intensity of their relationship comes to a head and Candi tells Eliza it is over. Later, ELiza is desparate to go and win Candi back but Gina gives a firm talking to to her about the Johnson’s feelings about things like witchcraft (that it is all bullshit) and encourages her to accept Candi does not want her any more.

Gina has been having illicit sex with Fred, while her boyfriend Big Dick has been chatting with AJ at the bus stop. Simpkins has got hold of some of AJ’s huge white Y fronts with his name written on them and has planted them under Gina’s pillow. When Big Dick later tries to be a good boyfriend and tidy the bedroom up for Gina and make a love nest for them in the bed he discovers the pants! AJ is on the verge of going to confess to his crime when he is accosted by a furious Big Dick with murder in his eye!


  • Candi, while wanting advice about how to treat women from Big Dick and Fred, gets the two of them to demostrate a romantic kiss to her. Steamy!
  • Eliza being made to drink a massive Archers by Gina to feel better
  • The joy of trying out sofas at DFS

How will AJ manage to explain away his big pants??

Will they find out it was Simpkins’ doing?

Is it really over for Eliza and Candi?

Will Gina and Fred keep at it???

Find out in Episode 15.9 on 4th June 2018 at 8pm at The Wardrobe Theatre

Episode 15.7: ‘The Great Ginsters Debate, or, All is Fair in Love and Pasties’

Arthur James ‘AJ’ Shaw is racked with guilt over letting Bunny Smith go to jail for him for clipping Fred on the ankle whilst driving the tram. Plagued by his accusing reflection in the mirror, AJ is driven to go down to the pier and, after throwing in his tram driver’s uniform, is about to throw himself in. Meanwhile, Simpkins and Constance have been laughing at the sad spectacle at the end of the pier from their vantage point up in their penthouse. Simpkins however, after a race across down and a bit of pushing AJ in to satisfy a whim of Constance’s, does do the right thing and saves a flailing AJ from drowning.

Across town, Eliza is telling girlfriend Candi that the reason her witch powers have got stronger is because Candi has a witchy power in her too. When the two embrace they seem to levitate into the air!

Big Dick is enjoying himself in Aldi, he also gets some presents for Gina…who is back at the pub with Fred, the sexual tension crackling between them over a game of tiddlywinks. Gina and Fred go back to his and have sex! Gina feels terrible when back with Big Dick later. She returns to Fred’s, to tell him it must never happen again and it was a terrible mistake…but then they throw themselves at each other and kiss passionately!

Memorable Moments:
• The expression on Candi’s face as she feels the power of witchcraft flooding through her veins
• Fred playing air guitar in celebration of his love-making session with Gina
• Big Dick and Fred, in separate scenes, pronouncing the ‘G’ in Ginsters in a hard or soft way, and then using the contrary pronunciation for Golden Wonder crisps and Genoa cake

Will AJ ever forgive himself and make amends for his ways?
Will Fred and Gina carry on their affair and will Big Dick find out??
How is Bunny Smith doing, in that jail cell for a crime she did not commit?

Find out in Episode 15.8 of Closer Each Day at The Wardrobe Theatre at 8pm on Monday 23rd April

Episode 15.6: ‘Judge Sugar and the Case of the Runaway Tram’

Simpkins and Constance Sugar are in the lusty thrall of their new relationship. Over in the salon, Pablo is reinventing himself. When Constance arrives for a hair-do, they have a frank chat and she encourages him to go take on the world. Back at the hotel, Simpkins is wondering where his employee, Bunny Smith, is…

Bunny has been offered a ride on the tram to get to work – up front with driver AJ! Fred gets in the path of the tram, receiving a nasty clip on the ankle. Eliza has also suffered a bad bruise from AJ’s tram-driving and they resolve to make AJ pay. However, when it comes time for the public flogging (with a roll of Sellotape), Eliza wants nothing to do with violence and her and Fred’s new alliance breaks down in acrimony. AJ convinces Bunny to take the rap for him, so he does not lose his job. Bunny wants to be a good friend – so it is she that is put on trial!

Judge Sugar resides over the court case, with Simpkins and Pablo on the jury and Eliza and Fred facing off just like two TV lawyers. Eliza suggests using her witch skills on a chant that will make Bunny tell the truth. Pablo is morally disgusted by witchcraft and stomps off. The others fall under the spell as they chant over Bunny, so deep in the trance they are oblivious to AJ making a confession. Judge Sugar sentences Bunny to jail! Visiting Bunny in the cell, AJ is sorry, but not sorry enough to ‘fess up. Fred is sorry that his premeditated plan to get clipped by the tram and take AJ to court for damages has ended up hurting Bunny and promises her a French meal when she gets out.

Memorable Moments:

  • Jack doing magic on the keyboard and, after an on-stage offer, managing to combine ’70s prog rock with Chopin
  • Constance looking into the salon mirror with Pablo miming all of her words and actions behind her
  • Fred becoming courtroom lawyer McLintlock, complete with pacing and dramatic timing
  • Bunny being handcuffed with Sellotape, which continues to wrap itself around her as she suffers in the cell

Will AJ and Fred forgive each other over the tram-clipping and courtroom incident?

Will Simpkins and Constance manage to keep their clothes on for just a while?

Has Eliza’s witchcraft only just begun?!

Find out in Episode 15.7 of Closer Each Day at The Wardrobe Theatre at 8pm on Monday 9th April