Episode 16.7: ‘Pablooooo, noooooo!!!’

We are right back at that tense moment in the pub, Pablo has told Big Dick that his fiancee Gina has been having an affair with Fred. At first Big Dick does not believe it, thinks it is all a joke, but then he sees no-one else is laughing. He demands some facts from Gina and then, angry and broken-hearted, he storms out of the pub – locking Fred, Gina and Pablo inside.

Pablo feels terrible for the drama he has created and for the danger Gina and Fred could be in, he thinks it is up to him to sort it out, takes the gun Big Dick keeps behind the bar and breaks his way out. Gina and Fred remain behind to talk and wait, getting more and more apprehensive.

Meanwhile, AJ knows nothing about the affair or its latest twist and when he bumps into Big Dick on the top of Lyle Hill manages to twist the knife in talking about Gina and what a wonderful woman she is and how happy Big Dick must be. Big Dick dons his leather jacket again, which he had discarded when he thought he was going to become a new man, and goes off in his car. His temper does not improve when the car breaks down several times along the way.

At Simpkins’ hotel, Simpkins fills AJ in with what has been happening. They discuss what they would do if they had discovered their lover had been loving another. Then AJ bangs on the door of the pub, pretending to be Big Dick and nearly gives Fred and Gina a heart attack!

Over at Reg’s, Eliza has stayed over and there has been some action with Reg – much to his surprise. But although he wants to be there for Eliza and their unborn twins, he still loves Pablo. And Pablo himself soon arrives, Eliza makes a hasty exit and the two men have a heart to heart over a game of cards. Pablo thinks he is losing it and should check himself into the local sanatorium. He wonders what he thinks he was doing with a gun and throws it out the window into the alley below. Before he heads off though, he thinks he should go back to the pub and apologise to Fred and Gina for interfering.

Meanwhile, Big Dick has also made his way back to the pub, pausing in the back alley where he sees his gun below the window of Reg’s flat, he picks it up and goes in.

Big Dick brandishes the gun at Fred, Gina steps in front of him and Pablo throws himself at Big Dick. There is a tussle and the gun goes off! Pablo slowly sinks to the ground. Big Dick looks at Fred and Gina and says, “Look what you have done. Pablo is dead”, then walks out. AJ and Fred and Gina gather around Pablo laying prone on the floor, in shock. The lights fade to black.

Memorable Moments:

  • That thrilling final scene. The long silence at the end, Gina crying real tears, many of the audience in tears too, it made the hairs on your arms stand up!
  • The opening scene. Long, tense but hilarious throughout, we find out that Fred has a Travelodge membership and got points every time he and Gina had a tryst there
  • Simpkins’ impression of Big Dick as he finds out about Gina and Fred
  • Big Dick’s flashback of happier times with Gina, riding along in the car together listening to soft rock musuic

Will we ever see Pablo again??? (Well, at least not for quite a long time, as the actor who played him is off in the West End playing Trigger in Only Fools and Horses!)

Will Gina and Fred make a go of it now it is all in the open, or was it all about the dirty dates in the Travelodges?

Are Eliza and Reg on the same page? Or has that hasty clinch changed the parameters of their practical relationship?

Find out next year in Season 17!

Episode 16.6: ‘Sex, Lies, and No Escape!’

After avoiding Eliza and her claims of carrying his unborn twins, Reg is coming round to the idea. Although she is naturally a Liberal and Reg a raving Tory (and loving boyfriend of Pablo Jones), they decide they can make a pragmatic child-rearing coalition.

Meanwhile, Big Dick Johnson has said yes to Gina’s proposal of marriage! He is over the moon, on Cloud 9, on top of the world! Candi is carried away by the romance of the moment and sleeps with Simpkins (yes, really!), who afterwards tells her he always fancied her mother, Judith, and blames Dick for her death (she crashed her car while strung out on the antihistamines he gave her). Simpkins also tells her that Gina has been having an affair with Fred. Blown away by all this information, Candi goes to visit her friend Pablo.

Gina goes to see Fred and the tension is palpable. Fred realises he has to go far away where temptation cannot reach him. He gives Eliza and Reg his café and radio show, he gives Simpkins his shares in Chessington World of Adventures in return for his silence over the affair, and he heads to the airport bus. But he is waylaid by Dick, who insists he comes back to the pub with him to celebrate the engagement. Meanwhile, Pablo is visited by Candi and cannot hide the fact he knew about Gina’s affair already. Candi is torn about hurting her uncle and when they get to the pub and the engagement party insists that Pablo tells him – Pablo cannot bring himself to do so. In truly soaptastic style; Gina is a bundle of nerves, Fred is very uncomfortable, Candi is in a high state of anxiety, Big Dick is blissfully happy and unaware and then Pablo finally gets up the courage and blurts out that Gina had an affair with Fred!

Memorable Moments:

  • That incredible soaptastic final scene in the pub…TENSE!!!
  • Big Dick wearing a colourful woollen jumper, deciding that the leather jacket is the old him and now he is going to be a nice, entirely new man
  • Reg’s enthusiasm for naming the twins after famous dead Tories

Will everything remain hunky-tory for Eliza and Reg and their new parenting coalition?

Will Fred really leave Newtown and all his belongings and wealth behind him? Will Gina have a heart attack??

And what on Earth is Big Dick Johnson going to do now???

Episode 16.5: ‘Treehouse of Horror’

This was 2018’s sell-out Halloween Special and what a show it was! Big Dick Johnson and Fred Gonzalez are up in Dick’s treehouse on Halloween, telling stories. They pull titles written down by the audience from a hat…

Ghost Ship

AJ Shaw was harvesting the souls of the people of Newtown by sucking them into the ship-in-the-bottles he has in his toy emporium. Thankfully Candi and Pablo are on the case and determined to find out what is happening to everyone, they bring in the Reverend Adrian who brings the ghosts out of the ships and goes head to head with AJ – who is really Satan!


Back in ye olde days, Simpkins is making new monstruous people out of the innocent and pure of heart. What a cad!

Edgar Allen Pablo’s Tell-Tale Heart

Pablo suddenly finds that his innermost thoughts are heard by the people he meets – he says good morning to them and they hear him calling them an ugly old tart, for example! Soon all the people of Newtown are baying for his blood and he takes refuge in the church. Reverend Adrian is on hand to make things better, Pablo’s innermost thoughts turn kinky and the Rev responds in kind!

The Ghouls Under Simpkins’ Bed

As the title suggests, there were a lot of ghouls under Simpkins’ bed, they come out and kill him. It was a short one!

Halloween Ain’t Just For Teens!

A teenaged Simpkins and AJ get booze from an older woman, Constance Sugar, to go along to a party. She says she will join them, the old lech. Cut forward to when they are adults, and they are in a group at a graveside, remembering what happened all those years ago. It turns out Constance died at that party and she is back, undead, for vengeance! She picks off the group of once-teens from that party one by one, killing them in horrible ways. Until Candi and Simpkins find the words to say backwards and vanquish her forever!

Big Dick and Fred have enjoyed the storytelling, all seems well…But then an unearthly visitation comes to them – it is a zombie Reverend Adrian, and he wants their blood!

No-one gets out of the Treehouse of Horror alive.


Episode 16.4: ‘Newtown is My Town!’

Eliza has still not been to a doctor since taking a dodgy pregnancy test some weeks ago, but the bus is cancelled and she still doesn’t go! Meanwhile, her baby daddy Reg is hiding in some bushes and only comes out after some talking to by AJ.

Pablo is feeling that he should step up as boyfriend Reg is not doing so, and tells Eliza he has signed over the salon to her to provide for the babies. Gina also visits Pablo at the salon, she has her suspicions over Eliza’s pregnancy as she is not showing at all, and she is also dying to tell someone about her affair with Fred!

Simpkins is enjoying toying with Fred over his knowledge about the affair, but meets his match when Billie Jean King, daughter of Newtown’s founder Jeff King, comes to town. She has been left Newtown in her father’s will but the other big shock is that she is Candi’s adoptive mother that brought her up in the States! Big Dick is upset that his familial ties with Candi may be weakening, Candi is excited that she de facto owns Newtown!

Gina is desperately trying to forget Fred and asks Big Dick to marry her!

Memorable Moments:

  • Billie Jean King, played by Patti Stiles, calling out Simpkins for his love of making evil plans, and Simpkins’ priceless reaction!
  • Pablo nearly telling Big Dick about Gina’s affair
  • The cliffhanger marriage proposal!

Will Big Dick say yes???

Will Simpkins or Pablo spill the beans about Gina and Fred’s affair??

Will Eliza finally get to a doctor??

Find out soon…But before you do, come to Episode 16.5 on Monday 29th October 2018 which will be a Treehouse of Horror Halloween Special, see spooky tales told about Newtown residents, enjoy the dark side of Closer Each Day! We shall be back seeing what happens next with our storylines in Episode 16.6 on Monday 12th November.

Episode 16.3: ‘True Love and a False Ben’

Eliza is distraught – she thinks she is pregnant with twins by Reg, Reg’s new boyfriend Pablo is furious with her and blames her for Reg running off and ex Candi wants nothing to do with her.

Meanwhile, Fred and Gina are both desperate for some advice about their illicit affair and both individually talk to AJ about a ‘friend’ they have who is having an affair. AJ thinks he has it figured out – they both have the same friend! When Gina’s boyfriend Big Dick comes into the pub and overhears Gina trying to explain away their friend ‘Ben’, things get out of hand and a going away party in the pub is arranged for him that evening!

Fred had also tried to get advice from Simpkins about his ‘friend’s’ predicament, but Simpkins is rather more smart than AJ and when Gina comes into the cafe in a terrible state about the party they will have to put on for a non-existent Ben, he susses out the truth immediately.

At the party, the rest of Newtown are doing karaoke, while Gina and Fred are talking in the cellar. Fred finally decides to tell Gina his true feelings, he loves her and wants to be with her. Gina tells him she does not feel the same way and he leaves broken hearted, but she does feel the same way – she was just trying to do the right thing and end it all!

Big Dick goes to pick up Ben from the train station, where Simpkins is helping out Fred and Gina by waiting in disguise as their friend Ben. Big Dick sees through his disguise and thinks someone is playing a game with him, but he does not guess who or why and picks up a different Ben instead!

Memorable Moments:

  • The big emotions in the beer cellar of Fred and Gina
  • AJ leading the karaoke in the pub and Pablo changing the words of his song to fire venom at Eliza
  • Simpkins’ squeaky-voiced Ben!

Will Gina tell Fred how she really feels??

Will Simpkins keep Gina and Fred’s affair a secret??

Will Reg come back to Newtown and face the music from Pablo and Eliza?

Find out in Episode 4 of Season 16 of Closer Each Day at the Wardrobe Theatre on Monday 15th October at 8pm…with special guest PATTI STILES! 


Episode 16.2: ‘Lessons in History, Biology and Love’

Big Dick is encouraged to leave the pub by girlfriend Gina so her lover Fred can come round and ‘fix the coffee machine’. Later on Fred and Big Dick go for a drive and Fred is disturbed by Big Dick’s impassioned speech about how much he loves Gina and what he would do if anything were to disrupt that.

Meanwhile, Simpkins and Candi are celebrating Jeff King Day (Jeff King apparently founded Newtown in 2006). Candi is feeling upset by Eliza’s impregnation by Reg and Simpkins counsels her to follow her heart and do something for herself. Candi decides she is going to remodel Coventry on Newtown, like a modern day Jeff King.

Reg and Pablo are blissfully bonding, they have moved in together, as in love as they are, and move their relationship on to the physical…several times. But their paradise comes to an end when Eliza appears at the door and eventually tells Reg he is the father of her unborn twins. Pablo  is not impressed and leaves them to it. Reg cannot handle the shock and makes a run for it.

Memorable Moments:

  • The numerous mentions of Jeff King and all he has done for Newtown
  • Fred driving Big Dig Dick’s BMW

Will Candi go to Coventry and make a new start there?

Will Fred hold his nerve and keep seeing Gina behind Big Dick’s back?

Will Pablo blame Eliza for ruining his good thing with Reg?

Find out in Episode 3 of Season 16 of Closer Each Day, at the Wardrobe Theatre at 8pm