AJ is finding it hard to handle Candi’s passion, he nearly gets his glasses broken! Candi is not entirely sure he is the man for her after all. Meanwhile, Gina says she would like to run the pub with Fred, Fred seems to be hesitating about that stepping stone of their relationship and in frustration Gina says what she really wants is a jet ski – as Candi points out, when things are getting tricky in her love life Gina always wants a jet ski. Gina also wants to get some spirits for the pub, she is all out.
Simpkins and Constance have decided to stop playing games with the young folk and concentrate on their own relationship. Constance goes to the book shop and is seemingly angered by Eliza’s pregnancy and all the pregnancies she has seen around in Newtown recently. Eliza is wanting advice because she is not sure if she can return Reg’s sudden affections. Candi passes by and has no sympathy at all with her predicament.
Rita Meter has not been seen for a while, it turns out she has got into Marie Kondo-style tidying, feng shui and designing Zen gardens, the latter of which gets a fair few visitors today. She is Simpkins’ ex but Constance and her get on like a house on fire, sharing stories about Simpkins’ quirks in bed and having a fine old time. Constance suggests that Rita does up Simpkins’ hotel while she takes Simpkins on holiday.
Meanwhile, Reg is trying to get rid of a box of old spirits when Gina finds him (after having no luck anywhere else) and gladly takes them off his hands. Reg has decided he truly loves Eliza and tells her how he feels, in fact he gets down on one knee and proposes! Eliza thinks she will show her ex Candi and turns to Reg to say yes.
- The special Zen Garden arm and hand position (which looks a lot like Reg carrying a box of spirits)
- Simpkins suspecting Reg of stealing the spirits from Gina’s pub and telling him to wait there while he tells Gina, Reg does exactly as he is told and does not move one iota
- Everyone passing by and telling Reg and Eliza what a perfect couple they make, culminating in the marriage proposal
- Rita’s comeback, including her very very tidy pants drawer
Will Constance take Simpkins for that holiday and will he be pleasantly surprised when he sees his ex-wife’s work on his return??
Will Gina continue to try to get Fred to run the pub with her, or will she be happy with her jet ski?
Is it really a yes from Eliza and an impending wedding???
Find out in Episode 17.5 on Monday 11th March at 7.30pm at the Wardrobe Theatre
Simpkins and Constance have a romantic Valentine’s breakfast, then Constance nonchalantly mentions to him that she is going to give AJ some lessons in love, Mrs Robinson style. However, when Constance sees AJ at his flat and sees that the card he thought was from her was actually from Candi, she realises she should do the right thing, leave AJ alone and encourage him to get romantic with Candi. Meanwhile, Simpkins is incensed and tries to shmooze Candi in revenge, she is having none of it! Later, Constance finds out and has a heart to heart with Simpkins, they have both been playing games but she loves him with all her heart.
AJ tries to pretend to Candi, when he goes to take back the card to her, that he does not care, but eventually they talk and realise they could be more than friends. It seems the Valentine Cupid has struck after all!
Over with Eliza and Reg, they are reminiscing about 1990s dance tracks featuring Bjork and Reg is feeding her chocolates and trying to be a good platonic father-to-be.
At the pub, Gina has made a trail of heart confetti to lead Fred to her and some lusty times. After a bit of that, they decide to head to that most romantic of dining establishments – that Burger King just outside of town. Gina is slightly on edge and it comes to a head in the car when she finds Fred being too blase about their relationship, which Gina thinks should be perfect – after all, someone died so they could be together!
- Simpkins’ rage at AJ for, as he sees it, trying to lure Constance into being his Mrs Robinson, and his sarcasm when AJ says he is not interested and likes Candi, “Oh, would you like to return the item??”
- Fred being specific about what his car is, a Daewoo Matiz
- Reg dredging up a description of the afore-mentioned 90s track featuring Bjork from his memory
Will Fred be scared off by Gina’s intensity?
Will Candi and AJ manage to do anything more intimate than some light pinky-linking?
Does Eliza want more from her baby daddy than just being her twin babies’ daddy?
Find out in Episode 17.4 on Monday 25th February 2019 at 7.30pm
Candi and Reg are at the aquarium, Reg catches Candi up on all that has happened in Newtown – Pablo being shot, Big Dick being put in jail, Fred and Gina going away to sort themselves out. They decide that that was all very dramatic and interesting but they are ready to move on, though of course Reg is still father to Eliza’s unborn twins and that is rather on his mind. Later, after Candi has gone, AJ comes along and tries to help Reg realise he could be a good father. The three of them all meet up in the playground but it starts to snow…
Constance has done up a room at Simpkins’ hotel to make it more like a Love Motel, trying to attract customers in out of the snow. AJ and Candi make it through the snowstorm to the hotel and take that suite. Constance is delighted and she and Simpkins listen through the keyhole.
However, although Candi would like to have some nookie with AJ he is oblivious and they just play scrabble.
Meanwhile, Reg is alone on Lyle Hill, remembering his own terrifying butcher father.
Simpkins upsets by Constance laughing in her face when she says she is not really all about sex and perhaps they should try parenthood again, he says she is too old! She tries to make herself feel better by flirting with AJ, when Candi walks in on them she gets upset and Constance realises right away that Candi wanted more than friendship from him. She says to AJ that he needs to learn a thing or two and they kiss.
- Reg remembering the raw meats in the butcher shop that he made friends with and talked to as a child
- Candi and AJ having a go on the playground equipment
- Constance’s and Simpkins’ homemade porn film
Will Reg get over his crisis of confidence and accept his new role as a soon-to-be father?
Will Candi tell AJ how she really feels?
Will Constance forgive Simpkins for calling her old?!?!
Find out at our Valentine’s Special on 11th February 2019, after our special 150th ever episode on 28th January!