Well, Season 21 was a total blast. We shall never forget it. The joy of being back at the Wardrobe after 15 months of enforced absence due to the ugly pandemic business, and the wonderful warmth and loud appreciation of our socially distanced audiences – it was just incredible. And the storylines that came about! All culminating in a wedding fit for any soap, complete with murder and heartbreak and some lurrrrve.
Now we get to find out what happens next, back at the Wardrobe Theatre from the 13th September and then every other Monday. Back at 7.30pm. We cannot wait to see you there. You can get your tickets here.
On Monday 2nd August 2021 it is the end of season finale. It has been a season like no other – starting as it did after an 15 month break forced on us by Covid, then going every Monday night instead of every fortnight to try and make up for that a little bit! We have loved being back so very much, and so much has happened in Newtown. This Monday, surely we shall see Gina Pitts and Big Dick Johnson finally get wed, but perhaps not the way they had dreamed….?! Will Debita the bridesmaid escape the murderous rage of Candi and the misguided villainy of Constance? We shall soon find out!
Big Dick realises his beloved Gina is in the very Aldi that he set fire to when distraught over his niece Candi dropping out of art school. He tries to save her with various objects but in the end Gina slits her PVC trousers open with a pineapple she finds, where she is lying slightly charred in the fruit and veg section, and manages to quell the flames with the sweat she has gathered in the hotness of the PVC – just long enough to get out to Dick and safety. When Gina recovers, she and Big Dick go out to sell beer from a cart, to prove to him they can make money legally. He tries his best but just cannot shake the feeling that crime is his true calling.
Meanwhile, Constance and Debita are in the cellar of the pub and find a temple full of riches, a labyrinth of passages, an underground lake and a ski slope. They fight Matrix-style and Jedi-style and are both determined to take the rubies and diamonds they have found. But there are no rubies, or anything else – unbeknownst to them, a tap they had drunk from was where Gina and Dick keep their heavy duty psychedelics. Above ground, Debita finds out the truth from Gina but everyone decides it is much more fun to let Constance believe the rubies really do exist. Debita also bumps into Simpkins, who is practising flirting and has a go with Debita. Constance discovers them together and though she thinks Debita is trying to distract her from the rubies when Debita tells her Simpkins was trying it on with her, she is still suspicious of her and gives her a warning. Simpkins and Constance return to the cellar to hunt for the rubies, drinking some more ‘water’ along the way, that sends them tripping off into the underground fantasy world.
Both Big Dick and Gina ask Debita, their new barmaid, for advice. Big Dick is loath to give up crime, but loves Gina with all his heart (and lots of dinosaur metaphors). And Gina really does not want to marry a criminal, but loves Big Dick more than anything. In a tender moment sitting at the bar, Big Dick presents Gina with a bar towel and inside is a ring, he says he will give up crime for her…but if she ever wants him to commit a crime for her he will. The music swells, they kiss, the wedding is on.
Will Simpkins and Constance stay mangled forever??
Will Constance find out about his flirting practice?
What kind of wedding will Dick and Gina plan?
Will Candi make it back to art school?
Where can we get some of those psychedelics on tap?
- Simpkins getting out his cheque book to pay for coffee, then crisps, and get phone numbers at the same time
- Debita sounding ballsy when she says how she handles people who want her to change: “You know what I tell them?” and then she says, timidly, “I am terribly sorry, how do you want me to change exactly?”
- Simpkins and Constance unable to climb up stairs and just sliding down in a heap
- Big Dick naming dinosaurs in his love metaphors
- THAT kiss!
We are so so so so (ad infinitum) happy to announce we are back live on stage at the Wardrobe Theatre from Monday 2nd November 2020 at 7.30pm. Yes, we know things may change and lockdowns may happen, but if they do we and the theatre have everything in place and Covid 19 safe for getting back to it as soon as we are able to again.
We have missed performing our fortnightly soap and cannot wait to kick off a brand new season. Come along and have a laugh and remember why, no matter what, live theatre is a vital part of life as we know it!
Get your tickets here. Tickets are sold in pairs – the theatre will be at half capacity and this is the best and safest way of doing things.
We are back, and about bloody time too!
I can update this new post but not earlier posts. Why not? Test
Simpkins and Eliza are firming up their purely professional relationship. She’s taken the role of PA (Private Assistant) but manages to get promoted to ‘Friend’, a position with a much larger salary.
Money is also changing hands in Newtown DFS. Fred is trying to make money to rebuild the pub and sells Anthony his grotty old sofa, claiming it to be a vintage ‘Helmstead’. Anthony wants to pay £400, but Fred manages to haggle it up to £401.
Meanwhile, Big Dick Johnson is out of prison, with AJ as his Parole Officer. He visits the bombed-out site of Gina’s pub and is shocked to find that she blames him for the bombing. A guilty Candi has intimidated Debbie, who knows the bomb was Candi’s doing. However, when Candi and Debbie appear at the bombsite to see Big Dick getting arrested for the bombing, Debbie speaks up and Candi confesses to her crime. She gets led away in handcuffs by her boyfriend AJ, and not in a kinky way…
Will Candi do time?
Will Fred and Gina rebuild the pub?
Where now for Dick Johnson?
Does the role of ‘Friend’ have benefits?
- Big Dick Johnson comparing himself to a squirrel
- Fred’s business pitch for a Yorkshire-based cream cheese festival called ‘Dairyleeds’
- Candi spelling her name, ‘C to the A to the D…’